Hello and welcome!
Until Christmas 2022, I lived a very ordinary life, as most people do. I have my dear family - 2 small children aged 3 & 5, and my lovely wife. Besides that, a job that I love and generally a life with a lot of irons in the fire. Both inside and outside work, like most people.
Before I reached Christmas 2022, I had an incident where I lost sight in one eye. It was during the summer of 2022. I was sitting in my office chair at work and got a huge shock. I sat down on the floor and took some deep breaths (I had no idea what it was doing at the time), but it was a completely automatic reaction. After a few minutes my vision came back and I stepped outside and went for a walk. I made an appointment with the doctor, had a series of blood tests done and was told, everything is normal - there is nothing wrong with you. Hmm ok, fair enough, back on track.
I've thought sometimes that maybe I should slow down a bit with all the things I throw myself into, but I have an inner powerhouse that is passionate about starting projects and creating development.
When we reached November 2022, I started to get really tired, unrested and lost the joy of most things. I was convinced it was things like not focusing on the right things that did it.
On December 23, my family and I left for Christmas vacation. I felt extremely bad. It was like a black thunderstorm was over my head and my body was about to be run over by a truck in slow motion. My wife and I had a deeper conversation and agreed that it was probably best to call the doctor and call in sick from work. I was still keen to celebrate Christmas.... I thought it would be fine once we got started. And it did.
At the end of December, I called the doctor over the phone and told him about my symptoms. We agreed to meet on January 3, 2023 for a screening.
In between Christmas/New Year 2022, I went to work to finish up and close out the year. I was sitting in a meeting room when I had my first real panic attack. The walls crumpled around me, my balance went completely off course and I briefly got tunnel vision and ringing in my ears. My immediate reaction was to go to the bathroom and get some cold water on my wrists to cool my body down. I went back into the meeting room, sat down on a chair and the symptoms came back with x10 in strength. I went out again and couldn't keep my balance at all, I had to support myself on the walls to avoid falling. I was determined to get home immediately, so I gathered my things and pulled my bike by my side. I tried to ride my bike but was so dizzy that I crashed into a hedge. It took me about 2 hours to walk 2 km and I went straight to bed when I got home.
The next morning I contacted the doctor and we agreed that I would get there as soon as possible that day. They wanted to send an ambulance as they feared a blood clot, but I was "sure" it wasn't that.
I drove to the doctor, crawled into the waiting room with a body that was in a total physical stress collapse. I could barely breathe, my tunnel vision was extreme and my balance was so weak I couldn't stand on my feet. I was shaking all over and could barely speak. It was as if I was being pierced by needles, while I was being run over by a truck and someone was setting me on fire at the same time - all in slow motion.
I was taken to a waiting room where a nurse + doctor looked at me. They could not find any significant challenges and I was transferred to a hospital where I could be seen. My dear wife came and picked me up, my body was in shock and from here started the worst crisis of my life I will describe in bits and pieces so that others can get help or support when they end up in the same situation, or are related to someone, as I know how debilitating it can be.
I am in a much better place today and know how to get back on track again. When you are affected, or you are a relative, all you want is 1. To get help from someone who has experienced it or second best 2. To get help from someone who has seen it many times
/Christopher
EN 
DA