January is more or less gone from my memory. It was a month where I had to physically figure out what state I was in. I was completely overwhelmed and unable to be around other people or have a normal conversation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I've broken both arms and an ankle before, with a very complicated fracture that required surgery and hospitalization with associated physical pain. But that stress with panic attacks, fuc..... hell!!! - it's x100 in strength and it will change your body & mind forever. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was invited to a meeting by my workplace. A check-in meeting where we were going to take stock and see how bad it was.... I couldn't even manage to clean myself up. I arrived in old hiking boots, loose pants and a big jacket. I almost threw up several times on the way to the meeting. My body was shattering into atoms, my breathing was hyperventilating and my vision was blurred. I wasn't even thinking about what was going to happen in that meeting, I was absolutely determined to get in and get it done. On the way in, there were a lot of people standing around, which I avoided. I couldn't believe they were talking to me and their speech was totally blurred and it was hard for me to see their faces. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I found the meeting room and we got down to business. From there it went steeply downhill. My eyes narrowed, I could barely see anything. My breathing more or less stopped, my hearing went from harmonious to extremely ringing in my ears. Sweat was beading down my forehead, my armpits were soaked and my back was also soaked. A representative from the meeting tried to calm me down and tell me to try to breathe calmly through my nose. I had only one goal OUT OUT OUT OUT, I just had to get out of the room and whatever was in my way, I was ready to clear it out. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fortunately, I got out quickly and felt significantly better in the moment. We agreed that I would be contacted by a professional who knows how to work with Stress & Anxiety. From here starts the hardest crisis of my life with Stress & Anxiety for over 1.5 years (June 2024), which is not yet over. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\/Christopher<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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